Bratan

I met this crazy dude super recently: a friend of a friend. He’s got the temper of a dynamite stick with PMS when he gets angry, but he’s a total teddy bear when he’s chillin’. That stone-cold angry face, though? Nothing can crack it.

He’s from Zaronia, so he’s got the charm of a potato, but he’s the first to lend you clothes and the last to back down when things get ugly… which brings me to his strength:

I’ve seen with my own two eyes how Bratan opened a coconut using just his fingers. The same coconut he used to break some cop’s nose and knock out two of his teeth for trying to arrest us for pissing on the roses outside the mayor’s house. Long story short: we did get arrested, but Bratan’s hookups sent a shady lawyer who got us out in a couple of hours, paid our bail, and even covered the dude’s dental implants.

Bratan’s a total boss. He deserves everything.