Aunt Mirta
It’s not easy to find a place to rent in New Avalon. Not far from The Hemorrhage at least, which is a great spot to grab some criminally cheap beers or stock up for the business, but awful to live in. Luckily, Aunt Mirta has a heart of gold and the best attitude for renting […]
The Pulgasaweed
My most prized possession is an Ugarte Cheechong-2 model. I call it the Pulgasaweed; a handmade bong crafted by the legendary Ezequiel Ugarte, high priest of marijuana paraphernalia, and made from recycled glass from the bongs of Rob Manley, Prowll Katt, and acclaimed actor Troy “Erection” Harrelson. The bidirectional, thermoregulated airflow, featuring reduced negative endoatmospheric […]
Bratan
I met this crazy dude super recently: a friend of a friend. He’s got the temper of a dynamite stick with PMS when he gets angry, but he’s a total teddy bear when he’s chillin’. That stone-cold angry face, though? Nothing can crack it. He’s from Zaronia, so he’s got the charm of a potato, […]
Summers in Romerales
Don’t get me wrong: I adore this crappy town with all my heart, but every now and then it’s good to get a change of scenery. My brother DJ Tatán-V and I love to take off to Romerales to spend a few days at a beach free from posers or radioactive contaminants in the water. […]
The Fusalario Hog
You never know who you’ll run into on the streets of New Avalon… or what’ll happen to them. Years ago, I met the Hog; the crazy guy used to park cars outside the Echoes of Avalon Arena. He never scratched one, or peeled off a logo; the Hog was ridiculously honest. But even more impressive […]
Scooters
The future is now, bro! Electric scooters are the bomb. Before they showed up, I had to take like 6 buses a day to go out and make deliveries… and since my business deals with pure artisanal quality, the bus would end up smelling like a street market. The drivers would rat me out right […]
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