Scooters

The future is now, bro!

Electric scooters are the bomb. Before they showed up, I had to take like 6 buses a day to go out and make deliveries… and since my business deals with pure artisanal quality, the bus would end up smelling like a street market. The drivers would rat me out right away. Fucking hypocrites: they were the first ones asking me for a discount after the ride.

I can’t even remember how many times I had to run from the cops… now you just grab the scooter and leave them fatties begging for water.

These scooters are a game-changer; you can zip efficiently from one girlfriend’s house to the other. And what an escape vehicle if the husband shows up! Either one of them. Those old geezers from Parque Lo Eyzaguirre wouldn’t run even to save a 100 bill. Good customers, those girls, yeah. Especially the grandma.

They’re super in-demand, though, bro. If you’re gonna use one, don’t leave it lying around near a subway station or a sewer: for some reason, they vanish. Same as bicycles, skateboards, rollerblades, and, virtually, anything with wheels.